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lashed fast to the fore, But when mermaids sleep In their bowers deep, Do you think that the sweet things snore?
Our company commander spoke to us this morning in no uncertain terms.He seems to be such a serious man. There is a peculiar quality in hisvoice, not unlike the tone of a French 75 mm. gun. You can easily heareverything he says--miles away. We rested this afternoon.
_March 3d._ Sunday--a day of rest, for which I gave, in the words ofour indefatigable Chaplain, "three good, rollicking cheers." Somefolks are coming up to see me this afternoon. I hear I must moothrough the fence at them like a cow. (Later.) The folks have justleft. Mother kept screaming through the wire about my underwear. Sheseemed to have it on her brain. There were several young girlsstanding right next to her. I really felt I was no longer a bachelor.Why do mothers lay such tremendous stress on underwear? They seem tobelieve that a son's sole duty to his parents consists in publiclyannouncing that he is clad in winter flannels.
"MOTHER KEPT SCREAMING THROUGH THE WIRE ABOUT MYUNDERWEAR"]
Polly drove up for a moment with Joe Henderson. I hope the draftgets hold of that bird. They were going to have tea at the Biltmorewhen they got back to the city. I almost bit the end off of a sentry'sbayonet when I heard this woeful piece of news. Liberty looks a longway off.
I made an attempt to write some letters in the Y.M.C.A. this eveningbut gave up before the combined assault of a phonograph, a piano, anda flanking detachment of checker players. Several benches fell on meand I went to the mat feeling very sorry for myself.
_March 4th._ The morning broke badly. I lashed my hand to my hammockand was forced to call on the P.O. to extricate me. He remarked, withill-disguised bitterness, that I could think of more ineffectualthings to do than any rookie it had been his misfortune to meet. Itold him that I didn't have to think of them, they just camenaturally.
Last night I was nearly frightened out of my hammock by awakening andgazing into the malevolent eye of my high-powered, twin-six wristwatch. I thought for a moment that the Woolworth tower had crawledinto bed with me. It gave me such a start. I must get used to my wristwatch--also wearing a handkerchief up my sleeve. I feel like the sweetkid himself now.
Drill all day. My belt fell off and tripped me up. Why do such thingsalways happen to me? Somebody told us to do squads left and it lookedas if we were playing Ring Around Rosie. Then we performed a fiendishand complicated little quadrille called a "company square." I foundmyself, much to my horror, on the inside of the contraption walkingdirectly behind the company commander. It was a very delicatesituation for a while. I walked on my tip-toes so that he wouldn'thear me. Had he looked around I know I'd have dropped my gun and litout for home and mother.
Forgot to take my hat off in the mess room. I was reminded, though, byseveral hundred thoughtful people.
_March 5th._ Stood for half an hour in the mail line. Got one letter.A bill from a restaurant for eighteen dollars' worth of pastluncheons. I haven't the heart to write more.
"A BILL FROM A RESTAURANT FOR $18.00 WORTH OF PASTLUNCHEONS"]
_March 6th._ Bag inspection. I almost put my eye out at right handsalute. However, my bag looked very cute indeed, and although hedidn't say anything, I feel sure the inspecting officer thought minewas the best. I had a beautiful embroidered handkerchief holder,prominently displayed, which I am sure must have knocked him cold. Hemissed the dirty white, but I will never be the same.
"HE MISSED THE DIRTY WHITES, BUT I WILL NEVER BE THESAME"]
Fire drill! My hammock came unlashed right in front of a C.P.O. and heasked me if I was going to sleep in it on the spot. It was a veryinspiring scene. Particularly thrilling was the picture I caught of avery heavy sailor picking on a poor innocent looking little fireextinguisher. He ran the thing right over my foot. I apologized, asusual. I discovered that I have been putting half instead of marlinhitches in my hammock, but not before the inspecting officer did. Heseemed very upset about it. When he asked me why I only put sixhitches in my hammock instead of seven, I replied that my rope wasshort. His reply still burns in my memory. What eloquence! Whatearnestness! What a day!
"FIRE DRILL"]
_March 7th._ Second jab to-morrow. I am too nervous to write to-day.More anon.
_March 16th._ Life in the Navy is just one round of engagements tokeep. Simply splendid! All we have to do is to get up at 6 o'clock inthe morning when it is nice and dark and play around with the cutestlittle hammock imaginable. When you have arrived at the mostinteresting part of this game, the four hitch period, and you arewondering whether you are going to beat your previous record and getsix instead of five, the bugle blows and immediately throws you into astate of great indecision. The problem is whether to finish thehammock and be reported late for muster or to attend muster and bereported for not having finished your hammock. The time spent inconsidering this problem usually results in your trying to do both andin failing to accomplish either, getting reported on two counts. Anyenlisted man is entitled to play this game and he is sure of making ascore. After running around innumerable miles of early morning campscenery and losing several buttons from your new trousers, you comeback and do Greek dances for a man who aspires to become a secondMordkin or a Mr. Isadora Duncan. This is all very sweet and I am surethe boys play prettily together. First he dances, then we dance; thenhe interprets a bird and we all flutter back at him. This being doneto his apparent satisfaction, we proceed to crawl and grind and weaveand wave in a most extraordinary manner. This is designed to give usphysical poise to enable us to go aloft in a graceful and pleasingmanner. After this dancing in the dew you return for a few more roundswith your hammock, clean up your bay and stand in line for breakfast.After breakfast we muster again and a gentleman talks to us in a voicethat would lead you to believe that he thought we were all in hidingsomewhere in New Rochelle. Then there are any number of things to doto divert our minds--scrub hammocks, pick up cigarettes, drill, hikeand attend lectures. As a rule we do all of these things. From 5 p.m.until 8:45 p.m. if we are unfortunate enough not to have a lectureparty we are free to give ourselves over to the riotous joy of themoment, which consists of listening to a phonograph swear bitterly ata piano long past its prime. The final act of the drama of the day isperformed on the hammock--an animated little sketch of arms and legsconducted along the lines of Houdini getting into a strait-jacket, ordoes he get out of them? I don't know, perhaps both. Anyway, you getwhat I mean.
"THIS IS DESIGNED TO GIVE US PHYSICAL POISE"]
_March 17th._ This spring weather is bringing the birds out in greatquantities. They bloomed along the fence today like a Ziegfeld choruson an outing. One girl carried on a coherent conversation with sixdifferent fellows at once and left each of them feeling that he alonehad been singled out for her particular favor. As a matter of fact Iwas flirting with her all the time and I could tell by the very wayshe looked that she would have much rather been talking to me. Lastweek I had to convince mother that I was wearing my flannels; thisweek I had to convince her I still had them on. The only way tosatisfy her, I suppose, is to appear before her publicly in them.Poor, dear mother, she told me she had written the doctor up hereasking him not to squirt my arm full of those horrid little germs anymore. She said I came from a good, clean family, and had been bathedonce a week all my life, except the time when I had the measles andthen it wasn't advisable. I am sure this must have cheered the doctorup tremendously. She also asked him to be sure to see that I got mymeals regularly. I can see him now taking me by the hand and leadingme to the mess-hall. When I suggested to mother that she writePresident Wilson asking him to be sure to see that my blankets didn'tfall off at night, she said that I was a sarcastic, ungrateful boy.
_March 18th._ There is something decidedly wrong with me as a sailor.I got my pictures to-day. Try as I may, I am unable to locate thetrouble. There seems to be some item left out. Not enough salt in themixture, perhaps. I don't know exactly what it is but I seem to be alittle too, may I say, handsome or, perhaps, polished would be th
ebetter word. I'm afraid to send the pictures away because no one willbelieve them. They will think I borrowed the clothes.
_March 19th._ A funny thing happened last Sunday that I forgot torecord. A girl had her foot on the fence and when she took it downevery one yelled, "As you were." Sailors have such a delicate sense ofhumor. Well, that's about enough for to-day.
_March 20th._ We had a lecture on boats to-day. The only thing I don'tknow now is how to tell a bilge from a painter. The oar was easy. Itis divided into three parts, the stem, the lead and the muzzle. I mustremember this, it is very important. The men are getting so used toinoculations around here that they complain when they don't getenough. We're shaping up into a fine body of men, our companycommander told us this morning, and added, that if we continue to pickup cigarette butts several more weeks we'll be able to stack armswithout
Our company commander spoke to us this morning in no uncertain terms.He seems to be such a serious man. There is a peculiar quality in hisvoice, not unlike the tone of a French 75 mm. gun. You can easily heareverything he says--miles away. We rested this afternoon.
_March 3d._ Sunday--a day of rest, for which I gave, in the words ofour indefatigable Chaplain, "three good, rollicking cheers." Somefolks are coming up to see me this afternoon. I hear I must moothrough the fence at them like a cow. (Later.) The folks have justleft. Mother kept screaming through the wire about my underwear. Sheseemed to have it on her brain. There were several young girlsstanding right next to her. I really felt I was no longer a bachelor.Why do mothers lay such tremendous stress on underwear? They seem tobelieve that a son's sole duty to his parents consists in publiclyannouncing that he is clad in winter flannels.
"MOTHER KEPT SCREAMING THROUGH THE WIRE ABOUT MYUNDERWEAR"]
Polly drove up for a moment with Joe Henderson. I hope the draftgets hold of that bird. They were going to have tea at the Biltmorewhen they got back to the city. I almost bit the end off of a sentry'sbayonet when I heard this woeful piece of news. Liberty looks a longway off.
I made an attempt to write some letters in the Y.M.C.A. this eveningbut gave up before the combined assault of a phonograph, a piano, anda flanking detachment of checker players. Several benches fell on meand I went to the mat feeling very sorry for myself.
_March 4th._ The morning broke badly. I lashed my hand to my hammockand was forced to call on the P.O. to extricate me. He remarked, withill-disguised bitterness, that I could think of more ineffectualthings to do than any rookie it had been his misfortune to meet. Itold him that I didn't have to think of them, they just camenaturally.
Last night I was nearly frightened out of my hammock by awakening andgazing into the malevolent eye of my high-powered, twin-six wristwatch. I thought for a moment that the Woolworth tower had crawledinto bed with me. It gave me such a start. I must get used to my wristwatch--also wearing a handkerchief up my sleeve. I feel like the sweetkid himself now.
Drill all day. My belt fell off and tripped me up. Why do such thingsalways happen to me? Somebody told us to do squads left and it lookedas if we were playing Ring Around Rosie. Then we performed a fiendishand complicated little quadrille called a "company square." I foundmyself, much to my horror, on the inside of the contraption walkingdirectly behind the company commander. It was a very delicatesituation for a while. I walked on my tip-toes so that he wouldn'thear me. Had he looked around I know I'd have dropped my gun and litout for home and mother.
Forgot to take my hat off in the mess room. I was reminded, though, byseveral hundred thoughtful people.
_March 5th._ Stood for half an hour in the mail line. Got one letter.A bill from a restaurant for eighteen dollars' worth of pastluncheons. I haven't the heart to write more.
"A BILL FROM A RESTAURANT FOR $18.00 WORTH OF PASTLUNCHEONS"]
_March 6th._ Bag inspection. I almost put my eye out at right handsalute. However, my bag looked very cute indeed, and although hedidn't say anything, I feel sure the inspecting officer thought minewas the best. I had a beautiful embroidered handkerchief holder,prominently displayed, which I am sure must have knocked him cold. Hemissed the dirty white, but I will never be the same.
"HE MISSED THE DIRTY WHITES, BUT I WILL NEVER BE THESAME"]
Fire drill! My hammock came unlashed right in front of a C.P.O. and heasked me if I was going to sleep in it on the spot. It was a veryinspiring scene. Particularly thrilling was the picture I caught of avery heavy sailor picking on a poor innocent looking little fireextinguisher. He ran the thing right over my foot. I apologized, asusual. I discovered that I have been putting half instead of marlinhitches in my hammock, but not before the inspecting officer did. Heseemed very upset about it. When he asked me why I only put sixhitches in my hammock instead of seven, I replied that my rope wasshort. His reply still burns in my memory. What eloquence! Whatearnestness! What a day!
"FIRE DRILL"]
_March 7th._ Second jab to-morrow. I am too nervous to write to-day.More anon.
_March 16th._ Life in the Navy is just one round of engagements tokeep. Simply splendid! All we have to do is to get up at 6 o'clock inthe morning when it is nice and dark and play around with the cutestlittle hammock imaginable. When you have arrived at the mostinteresting part of this game, the four hitch period, and you arewondering whether you are going to beat your previous record and getsix instead of five, the bugle blows and immediately throws you into astate of great indecision. The problem is whether to finish thehammock and be reported late for muster or to attend muster and bereported for not having finished your hammock. The time spent inconsidering this problem usually results in your trying to do both andin failing to accomplish either, getting reported on two counts. Anyenlisted man is entitled to play this game and he is sure of making ascore. After running around innumerable miles of early morning campscenery and losing several buttons from your new trousers, you comeback and do Greek dances for a man who aspires to become a secondMordkin or a Mr. Isadora Duncan. This is all very sweet and I am surethe boys play prettily together. First he dances, then we dance; thenhe interprets a bird and we all flutter back at him. This being doneto his apparent satisfaction, we proceed to crawl and grind and weaveand wave in a most extraordinary manner. This is designed to give usphysical poise to enable us to go aloft in a graceful and pleasingmanner. After this dancing in the dew you return for a few more roundswith your hammock, clean up your bay and stand in line for breakfast.After breakfast we muster again and a gentleman talks to us in a voicethat would lead you to believe that he thought we were all in hidingsomewhere in New Rochelle. Then there are any number of things to doto divert our minds--scrub hammocks, pick up cigarettes, drill, hikeand attend lectures. As a rule we do all of these things. From 5 p.m.until 8:45 p.m. if we are unfortunate enough not to have a lectureparty we are free to give ourselves over to the riotous joy of themoment, which consists of listening to a phonograph swear bitterly ata piano long past its prime. The final act of the drama of the day isperformed on the hammock--an animated little sketch of arms and legsconducted along the lines of Houdini getting into a strait-jacket, ordoes he get out of them? I don't know, perhaps both. Anyway, you getwhat I mean.
"THIS IS DESIGNED TO GIVE US PHYSICAL POISE"]
_March 17th._ This spring weather is bringing the birds out in greatquantities. They bloomed along the fence today like a Ziegfeld choruson an outing. One girl carried on a coherent conversation with sixdifferent fellows at once and left each of them feeling that he alonehad been singled out for her particular favor. As a matter of fact Iwas flirting with her all the time and I could tell by the very wayshe looked that she would have much rather been talking to me. Lastweek I had to convince mother that I was wearing my flannels; thisweek I had to convince her I still had them on. The only way tosatisfy her, I suppose, is to appear before her publicly in them.Poor, dear mother, she told me she had written the doctor up hereasking him not to squirt my arm full of those horrid little germs anymore. She said I came from a good, clean family, and had been bathedonce a week all my life, except the time when I had the measles andthen it wasn't advisable. I am sure this must have cheered the doctorup tremendously. She also asked him to be sure to see that I got mymeals regularly. I can see him now taking me by the hand and leadingme to the mess-hall. When I suggested to mother that she writePresident Wilson asking him to be sure to see that my blankets didn'tfall off at night, she said that I was a sarcastic, ungrateful boy.
_March 18th._ There is something decidedly wrong with me as a sailor.I got my pictures to-day. Try as I may, I am unable to locate thetrouble. There seems to be some item left out. Not enough salt in themixture, perhaps. I don't know exactly what it is but I seem to be alittle too, may I say, handsome or, perhaps, polished would be th
ebetter word. I'm afraid to send the pictures away because no one willbelieve them. They will think I borrowed the clothes.
_March 19th._ A funny thing happened last Sunday that I forgot torecord. A girl had her foot on the fence and when she took it downevery one yelled, "As you were." Sailors have such a delicate sense ofhumor. Well, that's about enough for to-day.
_March 20th._ We had a lecture on boats to-day. The only thing I don'tknow now is how to tell a bilge from a painter. The oar was easy. Itis divided into three parts, the stem, the lead and the muzzle. I mustremember this, it is very important. The men are getting so used toinoculations around here that they complain when they don't getenough. We're shaping up into a fine body of men, our companycommander told us this morning, and added, that if we continue to pickup cigarette butts several more weeks we'll be able to stack armswithout
Turnabout